


Some Asshole You’ve Met Twice

by TreasonousToaster



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Humanstuck, M/M, VERY minor rose/kanaya, dave is also divorced, dirk is daves son, middle aged romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:15:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27125752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TreasonousToaster/pseuds/TreasonousToaster
Summary: i have so many fics that i start and then never finishanyway i hope this is ok? its not been beta read so idk if its any good but feel free to leave constructive criticismthis ones p long by my standards sonext part will be out soon (hopefully)idk how to link things yet but come yell at me on tumblr https://treasonoustoaster.tumblr.com/
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21





	Some Asshole You’ve Met Twice

Your name is Karkat Vantas. You are currently at your old friend Kanaya’s wedding.

You feel kind of bad, honestly, because you didn’t even know she had a girlfriend until she sent you the wedding invitation. You haven’t exactly been the best at keeping up with her over the years, especially now that you’re getting older.

The ceremony was beautiful. Fancy, elegant, very formal. And now you’re sat around a table full of your old friends from high school and their respective partners, or the lack thereof. The least sophisticated table by far.

You’re just glad you’re not the only person in your forties that’s still single.

You’ve found you don’t have a lot of time for romance, despite how desperately you crave it. It’s been years since you had a serious relationship and, while not as much as a year, it’s been a pretty long time since you’ve had a hookup either.

You spend a lot of time at your job at the bar closest to your house (which still isn’t all that close), and when you’re not there you’re usually writing, or slamming your head into the keyboard instead of writing.

There’s constant chatter around you as your old friends catch up with one and other. You’re watching Kanaya dance with her new wife, Rose. They look so happy together.

You excuse yourself from the table and head up to the bar.

There’s only one person there, other than the bartender, so you slide into a seat a few away from them.

Once you have your drink you remain seated at the bar, spinning around in your seat to watch the people dancing.

The man at the other end of the bar says something to the bartender and you glance over because you’re nosy.

This is when you finally get a good look at this guy. He’s slouched over the bar but he looks tall, definitely taller than you. He’s blonde, dark skinned, and is wearing sunglasses despite the already dim lighting at this end of the room.

The bartender hands him his drink and turns away again.

“Who the fuck wears shades indoors?”

He looks up like he isnt sure if you’re talking to him or not, as if he isnt the only person here with stupid sunglasses on. Then his face splits into a grin and he slides over a few seats beside you.

“That would be me, I guess.”

“Why?”

He shrugs, sipping his drink. He’s silent for a minute before, “So, you here for the bride, or the bride?”

“Wow,“ You roll your eyes. “Take you long to come up with that one?”

“Yeah, I was up all night making and memorising lesbian-bride related jokes. Can’t risk getting caught without one.”

“Oh that would be so embarrassing for you.”

“Good thing I’m prepared. I’m assuming you’re here for Kanaya?”

You nod, “You know her?”

“Not very well, no.” He stares into his drink. Or, you think he’s staring into his drink. It’s hard to tell. “Rose is my sister so I’ve met Kanaya a couple times so I know her but I don’t know her, know her.”

“Well I didn’t even know Rose existed until I got the invitation so you’re doing better than I am.”

He snorts. Then he extends his hand towards you, “Name’s Dave, by the way.”

You hesitate, before reaching out to shake his hand, “Karkat.”

He raises his eyebrows behind his shades, “Dude, what? Karkat?”

You roll your eyes, “Yeah, I know, it’s weird, whatever, I’m used to it.”

“Nah, it’s kinda cool actually. Different.”

You open your mouth to respond but someone beats you to it, “Dave.”

You both turn and see Rose, now Maryam-Lalonde, standing there with a small boy who looks like Dave but is wearing even stupider shades than he is.

She gave him a sharp look, “I think it best that you not leave your son on his own while you wander off to the bar.”

“Shit, you’re probably right,” He turns to the kid and ruffles his hair. “Sorry, Dirk.”

The kid, Dirk, pushes his hand away and smiles, but doesn’t say anything.

Rose turns to you and nods, “Karkat, right?”

You blink, surprised she knows your name, “Uh, yeah.”

“Glad you could make it.”

“Oh, yeah, of course. congratulations.”

She smiled, “Thank you,” Then turned back to Dave, “Keep Dirk close by, I don’t want him wandering off on his own.”

Dave nodded and waved her off, “Yeah, I got it, I got it.”

He patted the stool beside him, “Come on up buddy, we’ll get you an orange juice.”

Dirk climbed onto the seat beside him and put his hands up on the bar.

Dave asks for and receives orange juice from the bar tender, giving it to Dirk, and then just sits there staring into his drink. You shift in your seat and he jumps.

“Jesus, sorry, forgot you were there.”

You frown, “Wow, thanks.”

“Uh, this is my son, Dirk,” He motions to Dirk who’s busy drinking his juice. “You have kids?”

You shake your head, “No.”

“Oh shit, you’re missing out,” He reaches over to ruffle Dirk’s hair again. “He’s great.”

You hum in agreement, “I probably would’ve had them, kinda getting too old now, but I never settled down with anyone.”

“Ah yeah, I get you.”

“Is his mother here?” You pause. You assume Dirk’s his biological son because of how similar they look but it could always be a surrogate? “Or, uh, other father?”

He huffs out a humourless laugh, “Ah, yeah, no. We’re not together anymore.”

“Oh sorry.”

“It’s fine, really, its been eight years.” He patted Dirk’s head. “That’s how old he is.”

“Karkat!” You turn around to see your friend, Nepeta, holding her hand out to you. “Come dance with me.”

You begrudgingly stand, down the rest of your drink and take her hand, giving Dave a quick, “See you around.”

The rest of the evening was nice but uneventful. Kanaya roped you into dancing with her at one point and it was nice to catch up for once. She told you all about her career in fashion, how she’d finally broken into the industry, Rose’s long-standing career as a school guidance counselor - she had been aiming for therapist but was offered the position through a friend on the school board and has been there ever since - and their plans to adopt a child.

“Kanaya, not to be a dick but, aren’t you getting a bit old for kids?”

She nodded, smiling sadly, “Well, yes, that was one issue that came up. However, I think we’ll be okay. Plus, a friend of Rose offered to surrogate so we’re considering that too.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I know you’re more than capable of handling it, but at this rate, by the time the kid’s ten, you’re gonna be in your fifties. Are you sure you want that?”

“Karkat, you know I always wanted children, even back in high school. I understand it’s been a while since we’ve spoken but that hasn’t changed. Up until this point I just haven’t found anyone worth having them with,” She looked over at where Rose was standing talking to a very tall woman with dark skin and dark hair, and smiled fondly. “But now I have, and I would appreciate it if you would just be happy for me.”

You nod, “I am happy for you.”

\---

You make a conscious effort to stay in touch with Kanaya after this. You spend hours on the phone to her every weekend, just talking about the mundanities of your everyday life. She invites you over for dinner one evening, says Rose’s family is going to be there and Kanaya wants you to help out with dinner. Turns out Rose is a shit cook.

You spend longer than you’d care to admit deciding what to wear and settle for something simple and casual but not too casual. Kanaya neglected to tell you if this was a formal dinner party or just a casual evening with some friends and family.

You’re greeted by Rose when you arrive, “Ah, Karkat, hello. Kanaya is in the kitchen. She’s expecting you.”

You nod to her and she points you in the direction of the kitchen.

“Hey, Kanaya.”

“Oh thank god you’re here. Everyone will be here in around twenty minutes and I don’t want to keep them waiting.”

By the time the two of you are done, all of Rose’s family are seated at the table in the dining room. Kanaya and Rose busy themselves with giving everyone the food while you wash your hands.

“Oh, hey Karkat,” You spin around and see the guy from the bar, Dave. Still wearing sunglasses apparently.

You completely forgot he said Rose was his sister.

“Uh, hi.”

“It’s Dave, we met at the wedding?”

“No, I know,” You step away from the sink to dry your hands. “Just forgot you’d probably be here.”

He nodded, “Right.”

You hovered in the kitchen for a minute, it looked like he wanted to say something else.

“Are you just gonna stand there?” You ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Hm?” His head snaps up to look at you - you hadn’t even noticed he was looking away. “Sorry, kinda blanked for a minute there.”

His eyebrows dipped low below his shades and he took a sort of half step, like he changed his mind, before trying again and moving towards the fridge, “Juice. That’s what I’m here for. Oh, fuck yes, she bought aj.”

He turns back to you and grins, holding up this big bottle of apple juice.

“Apple juice?” You find yourself, once again, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Hell yeah,” He closes the fridge and turns to the kitchen door. “Rose got the good shit. The expensive shit.” He shrugs. “Guess childless lesbians are loaded, huh?”

You ignore that last comment, “What you can’t afford apple juice?”

“Nah, I can. But Dirk,” You forgot he had a son. “likes orange juice so that’s what we usually get. Been forever since I’ve had aj.”

You follow him through the door into Rose and Kanaya’s unnecessarily big dining room. Everything about their house seems to be unnecessarily big.

“Karkat,” Rose directs you to a chair beside Kanaya. “This is your seat.”

Throughout the meal you manage to mostly stay out of the conversation but occasionally Rose’s almost unnaturally nosy family prods you with various questions about your career, love life, family, etc. Not the sort of questions you would usually ask someone you just met but you do your best to answer.

Kanaya insists you stay when she catches you trying to leave so you get roped into watching TV - or attempting to, as everyone insists on talking over it - with Kanaya and her in-laws.

You find yourself talking to Dave more than anyone. The rest of Rose’s family sort of freak you out. Dirk seems fine, he’s a lot calmer than you thought an eight year old would be. Rose’s sister? You think? This girl Roxy. She’s younger than Rose and Dave, in her twenties, you think, and she’s very loud. She supplies constant chatter throughout the evening. She brought her partner, Calliope, along with her and they seem content to just listen to her and only speak occasionally. You were also fine to just let her talk. You noticed the lack of parental figures present but figured it’s best not to ask as it’s really not your business.

Dave is the easiest to make conversation with. He isn’t overly loud, and doesn’t seem to mind when you insult him, which happens more than you’d care to admit. He just looks more amused than anything else. You’re not sure if that annoys you or not.

You’re in the midst of a heated (only on your end) debate about the importance of romance in movies when you are interrupted by Kanaya.

“Karkat, it was very nice to see you but it’s getting late and you should have work soon.”

You check the time, it’s nearing eight o’clock.

“Shit, I should probably go.”

You work the late hours at the bar, usually starting at 8.30 and leaving around five in the morning. The club opens at ten but you have a load of stuff do to before that.

These hours have made having a social life with anyone other than your coworkers very difficult.

You don’t stay for a long goodbye, just thanking Kanaya and Rose before getting your coat and heading out.

\---

You wake up at around four the next day having gotten home later than usual the night before and not being able to sleep for hours. You wake up in front of your laptop having fallen asleep on your third viewing of 27 Dresses in a row.

You’ve barely started drinking your coffee before you get a message from a name you don’t recognise.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 4:20PM!  


TG: blaze it  
CG: WHAT?  
TG: sorry was that too forward?  
TG: guess im not really used to talking to new people huh  
CG: WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?  
TG: its dave  
TG: shit did i not say that  
CG: NO, YOU DIDN’T.  
CG: ALSO HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY CHUMHANDLE???  
TG: oh rose gave me it  
TG: got her to ask kanaya for it  
CG: YOU COULDN’T HAVE JUST, OH I DON’T KNOW, ASKED ME FOR IT MYSELF  
CG: INSTEAD OF PRAYING ON YOUR SISTERS WIFE FOR THE HANDLE OF SOME RANDOM ASSHOLE YOU’VE MET TWICE.  
TG: well shit when you put it like that i kinda sound like a creep  
CG: YOU THINK?  
TG: nah not often  
TG: but i can just fuck off if you want  
TG: like i get this is probably really fuckin weird but im complete ass at holding a conversation in person  
TG: like its so much easier online ya know  
TG: i just enjoyed talking to you  
TG: but i dont wanna make you uncomfortable or weird you out or anything so i can just dip now if you want  
CG: NO, IT’S FINE.  
CG: I MEAN YOU’RE KIND OF A PAIN IN THE ASS BUT I WOULDN’T MIND TALKING MORE.  
CG: ALSO JESUS FUCK HOW FAST DO YOU TYPE?  
TG: ha yeah spend a lotta time online i guess  
TG: kinda got into the habit of typing fast  
CG: I SEE.  
TG:  
CG:  
CG: SO DID YOU ACTUALLY WANT SOMETHING OR WAS THIS JUST POINTLESS?  
TG: oh yeah  
TG: no  
TG: i dunno  
TG: shit did i interrupt something  
TG: like were you doing anything important  
CG: NO I JUST WOKE UP.  
TG: dude what  
TG: at 4pm  
CG: I WORK NIGHTS, SHUT UP.  
TG: ok fair enough ig  
TG: i should probably let you do whatever shit you gotta do in the morning then huh  
CG: YEAH.  
TG:  
TG: well ok see you next time rose throws a family dinner  
CG: I WON’T BE INVITED NEXT TIME.  
TG: nah if you help out in the kitchen youll be invited to all the family occasions  
TG: fuck knows none of us can cook  
CG: HA.  
TG: ouch  
TG: nothing worse than a singular capitalised ha with a period  
TG: god damn  
TG: anyway ive gotta dip now  
CG: OK BYE.  
TG: see ya  


You decide not to think too hard about that conversation and just go about your day as normal.

This decision lasts about a day before you get another text from Dave.

TG: okay seriously how the fuck do you enjoy romance  


You stare at it for a minute. What the fuck.

TG: like this shit is so cliche why do you like this  
CG: ARE YOU WATCHING A ROMANCE MOVIE??  
TG: not by choice  
TG: ive been forced into it  
TG: the struggle of having sisters  
CG: YOUR SISTERS LIKE ROMANCE MOVIES?  
TG: kinda i guess  
TG: i dunno  
TG: they like it more than i do at least  
TG: pretty sure they just put it on to taunt me  
TG: haha im rose i have a wife  
TG: ooh im roxy i have a partner  
TG: oh no poor daves all alone haha  
TG: mother fuckers  
CG: I CAN’T TELL IF YOU’RE ACTUALLY BEING SERIOUS ABOUT THIS OR NOT.  
TG: nah i dont care  
TG: im just wondering how you can watch this trash and think yes  
TG: this is my ideal movie  
TG: i love this  
CG: OKAY FUCK YOU.  
CG: IT’S GOOD TO SEE ROMANCE ON-SCREEN.  
TG: yea except its all bullshit  
TG: like when was the last time you just randomly ran into someone and thought wow im in love  
CG: OKAY YES, LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT IS STUPID AND UNREALISTIC, I’LL GIVE YOU THAT.  
CG: BUT IT’S NOT REAL. IT’S NICE TO SEE THIS HAPPEN AND THINK THAT COULD BE YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW IT’S BULLSHIT.  
CG: IT GIVES PATHETIC PEOPLE HOPE.  
TG: you mean people like you  
CG: WOW, FUCK YOU?  
TG: hey i thought thats where you were going with that  
CG: I MEAN YOU’RE NOT TOTALLY WRONG BUT STILL FUCK YOU.  
CG: WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING?  
TG: i dunno and im not about to ask  
TG: they havent noticed im texting yet so im not about to let them in on this  
TG: then id have to actually watch that shit  


You shoot a quick text to Kanaya, grinning stupidly.  
You wait a few minutes. And then,

TG: you motherfucker  


You snort.

CG: SORRY  
CG: NOW I GUESS YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO WATCH THE MOVIE.  
TG: dude why do you do this  
TG: i trusted you  
TG: heart broken  
CG: (:B  
CG: HAVE FUN.  


You end up texting Dave a lot in the next few days.

You don’t mean to. You don’t wake up in the morning and think, ‘you know what? I want to text Dave today.’ It just sort of happens.

He sends you something stupid about a movie he’s watching or his job or his sisters, you respond by calling him some colourful insult and the conversation just flows from there.

You soon find yourself looking forward to talking to him. Whenever you get the chance at work you take out your phone to update him on a stupid customer or coworker or just to see if he’s still awake.

Usually he is, despite your late shift and you chastise him until he agrees to go to sleep.

You spend hours talking. He’s almost always online, during the day after you eventually wake up and at night when you’re at work.

You’ve been texting for about a month when he calls you.

It was around 6PM, you were sitting with your laptop open staring at the screen instead of writing, when your phone rang.

You frowned and picked it up, “Dave?”

“Yeah, hi, uhhh, are you like,” He paused. “You’re not busy right now are you?”

“Not really, no. Why?”

“Could you like, maybe, come pick me and Dirk up? It’s cool if you can’t but I called Rose and Kan and they haven’t picked up and it’s too far for Dirk to walk and I don’t know anyone else near by and it’s fine if you’re busy, seriously but like—“

“Jesus fucking Christ, Dave,” You’re already standing up and shutting your laptop. “Fucking breathe. I’ll come pick you guys up. Where are you?”

“Oh, fuck, thank you,” He sounds so relieved. “I owe you one, holy shit. I’ll text you the place.”

He thanks you again and hangs up before texting you. They’re not too far from where you live, a park just a couple streets away.

You sigh and head out.

\- - -

When you pull up to the park you see Dave pacing back and forth beside Dirk, who’s sitting cross legged on the dirt fiddling with something.

You get out of the car and call to him. He jumps but visibly relaxes when he turns and sees you there.

“Hey, thanks,” He says, when he and Dirk have trailed over to your car. “Seriously, you didn’t have to do this, I owe you.”

You scoff and roll your eyes, “Please, I wasn’t about to leave you stranded at some park, believe it or not, I’m not that big an asshole.”

He smiles gratefully and you motion for him to get in the car. He sets Dirk in the backseat, saying quiet reassurances when he’s nervous to get into your car. It makes sense, you’ve seen him twice and never talked to him, he probably thinks of you as a stranger.

“So, where am I taking you?” You ask when Dave slides into the passenger seat.

“Uh, my house isn’t that far from here,” He takes out his phone. “I’ll put it in the GPS, hang on. Sorry for making you come out here, I can pay for gas.”

You wave him off, “Shut up, it’s not that far from where I live.”

He shrugs and puts his phone on the centre console so you can hear the stupid robotic voice give you directions. He seems anxious, on edge.

It turns out he doesn’t live all that far away. Just outside of the city, where you live, there’s a very typical little suburban neighbourhood. You don’t know where you were expecting him to live, but here was not it.

“It’s that one,” He points to a house at the end of a long row of identical houses.

You pull into the drive way and follow him out.

“Dude, Karkat, thank you. I seriously owe you one.”

You scoff, “It’s nothing, you don’t owe me shit.”

He gives you a lopsided grin - that definitely doesn’t make your stomach do a little flip-flop - but he still looks on edge.

“Did you wanna come in?” He offers.

You hesitate and check your phone for the time, “Yeah, okay but I can’t stay long.”

He nods and follows Dirk up the path to the front door, pulling out his keys on the way.

The second you’re through the door, Dirk disappears off presumably to his room.

Dave stands rigid in the hallway, his voice strained when he speaks, “Sorry, it’s not the cleanest. I, uh. Wasn’t plannin’ on having anyone over.”

“It’s fine, my apartment’s always a mess,” You pause and frown. “Are you okay?”

He seems confused by the question, “Uh, yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Look, it’s probably none of my business but you seem really on edge or something. I know we’ve only spoke in person, like, twice? But you just seem..” You trail off, not entirely sure what you were going to say.

Dave is frowning, “You’re right it’s not really any of your business.”

“Sorry.”

“No, it’s. Fine. I mean, shit, you’re like, right,” He lets out a humourless laugh and smiles, sadly at you. “My ex-wife called today.”

Oh. You weren’t expecting that.

“Eight fucking years, no calls, no nothing and today she fucking phones me up out of nowhere to ask for money.”

“She asked you for money?”

He laughs drily, “Yeah. Like she doesn’t fucking know I have Dirk to look after. And this stupid fucking house I’m still paying off even though she was the one that wanted it. And I can’t even fucking be mad at her because—“ He stops and swallows thickly. “Sorry. You don’t care about this, it’s stupid.”

“No, it’s okay. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to but you shouldn’t just keep it all in either. It’s not good for you.”

He snorts, “You sound like, Rose.”

“I feel like I should take offence to that.”

“Probably,” He grinned, then his face fell again. “I see where you’re coming from man but, fuck,” He runs a hand through his hair and glances in the direction Dirk went. “I don’t want Dirk to know why we split because it’s my fucking fault. Man, I don’t want him to he mad at me.”

You raise an eyebrow at him but he doesn’t elaborate.

You follow him through to the living room where he slumps onto his couch, “Shit let’s just put on a movie or something.”

You let him pick something shitty without much protest and sit by him on the couch. Not directly beside him but close enough.

He disappears into the kitchen and returns with a beer and a pack of bottled water.

He tosses the pack to you and returns to his position on the couch, “Knock yourself out.”

You mutter a few curses as you try to remove a bottle from the pack.

“You don’t mind if I drink, right?” He asks, motioning to the beer in his hand. “I know you have to drive so..”

“Yeah, sure, whatever.”

You sit in silence for a while watching whatever it is he put on, you’re not entirely sure what it is but it’s complete shit. He cracks a few jokes or makes a fee stupid comments but his heart clearly isn’t in it.

As you’re leaving, he stands in the doorway and asks quietly, “Do you think it’s too late to admit things?”

You stop, “What kind of things?”

“Like why she left me.”

You frown, “Dave..”

He waves his hand and turns away, “See you around.”

Then he closes the door.

You think about what he said a lot after that.

**Author's Note:**

> i have so many fics that i start and then never finish
> 
> anyway i hope this is ok? its not been beta read so idk if its any good but feel free to leave constructive criticism  
> this ones p long by my standards so 
> 
> next part will be out soon (hopefully)
> 
> idk how to link things yet but come yell at me on tumblr https://treasonoustoaster.tumblr.com/


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